Before I even start, I know what you are about to think – I can read minds in advance, among my other talents and skills. I know I have been writing about my own kids a lot lately. Before you throw a toy truck at my head for doing it again, you need to know that Wesley is like a little comedienne, only he isn’t even trying to be funny. I think lots of kids are like that but I hit the jackpot with this guy. He provides a lot of potential writing material.
We were out last night and decided to have dinner at a little café in Elk City. And by café, I don’t mean romantic little restaurant with lots of charm and ambiance – I mean little restaurant with mounted animal heads on the wall and a salad bar chock full of iceberg lettuce. And no background music at all, which means you can hear every little sound in there. But the food is good and there aren’t a whole lot of choices, so…
When we walked in it was pretty empty, only about three other tables had customers at them. We were led to the corner (they always put us in the corner – what is it about a frazzled couple with two young boys that makes them think we should be in the corner?!?). On the way to our table, we went past an older couple and I noticed with fear that the man had an eye patch. Not fear because I have a phobia of eye patches but because of what was going to happen next.
Sure enough, when we got to the table, the chatter started and quickly turned into conversation about eye patches. Or maybe I should type it like it was spoken – EYE PATCHES. Because the volume of my son was more like the volume you would need to carry on a conversation during a Metallica concert. And with no background music at all, we were sort of stuck.
I whispered to my son ,”We don’t talk about other people’s eye patches – it could hurt their feelings.” But it was answered like this: “WHY CAN’T WE TALK ABOUT HIS EYE PATCH? IS HE A PIRATE? CAN I BE A PIRATE FOR HALLOWEEN?” I finally let him eat the little packets of jelly on the table with a knife – it was the only trick I had to offer. The eye patch was quickly forgotten.
Poor eye patch guy.