Our lives are fixin’ to change. (Please know that I just used a bit of local vernacular and have never uttered that word as one of my own.) But they are fixin’ to change.
Currently in our one horse town, we have a Wal-mart. Not the Super kind, just the regular kind, which are probably in danger of becoming extinct. Should this possible extinction make me sad? It doesn’t. Anyway, we go there often, as do most people in our town. We engage in a popular activity called Wal-martin’. This activity is kind of like a sport but it doesn’t have an official season – it’s all year round! You just load up the kids and head down to Wal-mart for some family fun. It’s best if you don’t have a list and just take your time browsing the aisles to see what has gotten $.12 cheaper thanks to “rollback prices.” The good news is that putting clothes on your children (especially shoes) is optional – a diaper will do, even if it is snowing outside.
The closest Super Wal-mart before was an hour away. The downside is that it’s in a town with little else to attract visitors, aside from the McDonald’s playland. And the huge Bingo parlor. But now, there is a Super Wal-mart that has opened just 45 minutes away! Think of all the gas we can save!
I hate to admit that this excites me because I am sort of anti-Wal-mart. Have you ever tried to go there and buy things only made in the USA? You probably wouldn’t have much in your cart…But nevermind that most of the goods you can purchase at Wal-mart reek of the sweat of the young Chinese children who work 16 hour days to provide us with Low Prices - Always – if I am honest, I will admit that it makes me tingly all over to think of a Super anything just 45 minutes away! Wheeee!
So next time I wake up at 3 in the morning and realize that I need some turnips, a plastic lawn chair, and a box of suppositories for the dog, I am totally in luck! Because now there is a place where I can get it all only 45 minutes away.
Now all we need is a bookstore, a Target, a decent restaurant,…