Monday, May 18, 2009

and it's always the cart with the broken wheel, too.

When you own a home daycare, there is a lot of shopping that goes along with it – and not the fun kind of shopping. In a typical week, I go through three gallons of milk, probably the same amount of juice, three bunches of bananas, a bag of grapes, a carton of strawberries, two containers of baby wipes, two dozen eggs, and many, many other things. I am the reason Sam’s Club and Costco were invented. But since we have neither a Sam’s Club nor a Costco or even a SuperWalmart within an hour’s driving distance, I am stuck making weekly trips to the only alternative – plain old Walmart.

I consider going to Wal-mart a form of torture. Like one step above water boarding although I’ve never been water boarded so maybe Wal-mart is worse – I don’t know. It used to not be so bad until I needed so many things every time I go there. I remember the days when Bryan and I would walk around Wal-mart leisurely, looking at all the things we didn’t really need but suddenly wanted anyway, occasionally tossing a completely useless item into the cart because it was shiny and cool and we “needed” it.

Those days are over. Now I have entered another phase of my life: the phase of needing two carts. It is completely embarrassing. I’m not even kidding. When I make my weekly trip to Wal-mart (once is all I can stomach) I need two carts to fit all the stuff I have to buy. TWO CARTS! I feel like a complete idiot pushing one cart and pulling another. I’ve tried to just do one cart but by the time I get to the checkout, things are spilling over the sides, my arms are full of other things, and I’m kicking a few items that fell out along the way.

This weekend our family went to the zoo in OKC with a couple who don’t have kids yet. They were talking about the distribution of household workload (in their house it is split evenly and they do many chores together – isn’t that precious?) and I asked about who does the grocery shopping. They do the grocery shopping together. And right then, I had a realization – I had a flashback to our wedding day. Not the one at the courthouse, the one with the big white dress.

Pastor Bob: Do you, Bryan, take Laura to be your wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, and that she will never have to go to Wal-mart alone again, for as long as you both shall live?

Bryan: I do.

And there you have it – I shouldn’t have to suffer the torture alone. So yesterday I made Bryan and the kids go with me to Wal-mart. The least they could do is push the second cart.

It was a bad idea. Wesley is just starting to “get” potty-training and in the middle of the trip screamed, “I need to go pee on the potty!” Wyatt was fussy for some unknown reason. Wal-mart was crowded and had run out of many of the things we needed. I sensed that Bryan was about to crack and then he gave me the look that means “This is never going to happen again.”

Whatever, you wedding vow breaker, you!

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