Thursday, April 9, 2009

i wear a lifejacket in the bathtub

When I was just a young pup, probably in middle school, I was reading my mother’s Reader’s Digest. I don’t even remember what the point of the article was but it told about a woman who was in a freak accident: she was driving in her car and a semi full of logs was driving on an overpass above her. One of the logs came loose and fell from the overpass onto the car she was in, smashing her to tiny bits. It was a terrible story. I had trouble sleeping for weeks. And this is going to sound morbid, but at that moment, I developed a fear that someday I would be in a freak accident.

That fear is still secretly in me today. Only it has gotten worse over time, probably due to the fact that I have read so many more stories about freak things that happened to other people. And each time, I file them in my mind as something that could happen to me. I’m almost certain that someday I will be on an escalator that collapses or get my front teeth knocked out by a frisbee or be hit by a falling meteor.

A few weeks ago, I was watching a show on TV about a medical examiner. She was investigating a woman who had apparently died of a blood clot. And the next day when my leg started to hurt, I was sure that I had one, too. I started to think of my poor boys, and how they would be raised by someone other than their mommy. Would their new mommy know that Wesley is afraid of the automatic car wash and that Wyatt doesn’t like apricots?

Today I was hiding Easter eggs for the kids to hunt in our backyard. I was putting some in the playhouse and trying to hurry as fast as I could so the kids could come outside. I stood up really fast, forgetting that I was in a child’s playhouse and that I am taller than a Smurf. I hit my head hard. This is the part that scared me, though – it didn’t hurt but I was immediately dizzy. And my head felt like things were a little wobbly in there.

Normal people would think, “Wow! That might leave a mark but I’m sure I’ll be okay.” I am not normal. I think of a celebrity who recently died of a head injury that seemed insignificant at first…

Next time I hide eggs, I guess I’ll just have to wear my bicycle helmet.

3 comments:

jrh678 said...

Maybe you should just wear your bike helmet all the time? Couldn't hurt...

ghosts said...

oof. that freak accident reminds me of the drivers ed.
"you wouldnt survive the fall" *insert whistling sound*

xo

Jom said...

After I watched the series "Six Feet Under" I became a lot more concerned about being involved in a freak accident. It's something about mommy-hood too. I notice that I'm more morbid about awful scenarios that could occur! Love your blogs. Keep them coming!