an apology letter

Dear UPS man,

I just wanted to let you know that this morning was a rough one. I woke up to a cranky baby (possibly an ear infection??) and had been up during the night with Wesley, changing his clothes and bedding because his diaper leaked and with Wyatt because he was hungry. So I didn’t exactly wake up feeling “refreshed.” The sink was already full of dishes that I didn’t get to last night so I had to wash them before I could even start breakfast for five of my closest friends. Then, without mentioning any names so as not to embarrass the culprits, I changed four poopy diapers before Sesame Street was over, one of which was so bad that I literally gagged. As I was finishing cleaning up breakfast (someone had thrown strawberries all over the floor and apparently the dog doesn’t eat strawberries) while holding my fussy 10-month old, he coughed once and then puked all over me and the kitchen floor. I’m still not caught up on laundry from the washer/dryer breaking down last week so my shirt selection was already limited. And that is why when you rang the doorbell this morning, I answered covered in puke, with one sock on, the smell of poo effervescing out of the living room, messy hair, no makeup, and one eye twitching.

Sorry about that. I’ll try not to let it happen again.
Sincerely, the crazy lady in the tan house

P.S. – thanks for the package of pictures.