Last weekend, I took a little trip all by myself to Austin, TX to visit my friend Sara. She is engaged to a man I had never met so I figured I had better meet him before the wedding. That way when the preacher says, "if there is anyone who knows of any reason these two should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace..." I could stand up if I needed to. Do they even say that at weddings anymore?
Anyway, it was a short but very nice trip. I got to sleep late, we took long walks, and I got to meet Sara's friends at an engagement party. It was such a nice and relaxing weekend that I felt completely unprepared for the cold shower of real life that I returned to. Apparently, Wesley was very sick with a high fever for most of the weekend. And you know what they say - sick baby, grumpy daddy.
I took Wes to the doctor first thing Monday morning and he tested very positive for strep FOR THE FIFTH TIME in five months. And as much as I have enjoyed living in a "den of illness" I told the doctor that I am tired of having a sick baby. He agreed and prescribed what I guess are the "big guns" of antibiotics.
This whole process of shooting medicine into a baby's mouth via a syringe has become second nature to me - like tying my shoe or cleaning mashed potatoes out of the dog's ear. So I was shocked when Wesley fought me so much on taking this particular medicine. The perscription said three times a day for ten days - 30 doses. By day two, I was having to pin him down on the floor to get the job done. By day three, he had perfected the art of spitting it out the side of his mouth. Day four, I decided to try bribes - take your medicine, get four chocolate chips. Deal or no deal?
No deal. Finally, I decided to taste this medicine myself - how bad could it be? Well, I didn't have to taste it - as the bottle got close to my face, the stench of a rotting animal carcass filled my nostrils. I almost threw up.
I took the bottle to Walgreens and begged them to flavor it with something even though they aren't supposed to after it has been taken out of the store. I must have been convincing (read: desparate) because they agreed to do it. The pharmacist read in the computer that this is one of the worst tasting medicines they sell and that grape or lemon flavoring would work best. At this point, she could have squirted Cheez Whiz into the bottle and I would've gone along with it because it certainly couldn't have come out tasting any worse. I chose grape.
My question is: why can't these gigantic pharmaceutical companies produce medicines that are both effective and tasty? Or at least that don't taste like rancid meat? And this is a medicine that is supposed to be specifically for babies!
But I am sure that the grape flavoring will make all the difference in the world. I mean, who wouldn't want some rotting meat with grape jelly on it? And maybe a side of poop-flavored licorice...
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